


Not Jealousy

by SubtextEquals



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 00:59:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SubtextEquals/pseuds/SubtextEquals
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus and James have a heart to heart about Sirius and Remus’s relationship and their own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not Jealousy

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Winter Wolfstar Wank for the prompt "Remus and James."

James didn’t notice it at first. If he did, he chalked it up to friendship. It was nothing more than a show of affection. Sirius’s and Remus’s friendship had always been different from the others, just like Sirius’s and James’s, or James’s and Remus’s for that matter. But over time it grew harder to ignore. It wasn’t just the way they looked at each other when they thought no one was looking. It wasn’t how Sirius looped his arm around Remus’s shoulder while they were walking and pulled him closer, smiling at him all the while. It was all those things and more, little actions that added up and painted a clear picture.

James could ignore that. He could avert his eyes and go on as usual. What he couldn’t ignore was when Sirius started climbing into Remus’s bed at night. Black thought he was being quiet, James was sure, and perhaps he was but their beds were right next to each other. James could hear everything Sirius did at night clearly. He could tell when he cast a silencing spell around his bed. And, one time, he heard Sirius when he didn’t. How Sirius thought he was getting away with it, he didn’t know.

How Remus thought he was getting away with it was even more uncertain. Sirius was brilliant, of course, but Remus was thoughtful.

And then there was the question of why neither of them had told James.

When James could stand it no longer he pulled Remus aside after class. Sirius had looked back after them but James waved him off. Peter, realizing that none of his friends were behind him, also cast a glance their way. James was less patient when he urged him to leave them be.

“What’s going on?” Remus asked as he followed James into an abandoned classroom.

“I could ask you the same thing.” James replied evenly. When they filed into the room he closed the door behind him. He decided to skip straight to the point. “When did you and Sirius start seeing each other?”

James could see the muscles in Remus’s body tense.

“Prongs, we see each other every day. That’s—”

“When did you start fancying each other then?” He asked. “And why hasn’t Sirius told me about it? Did you ask him not to?”

Remus bit his lip for a moment. “Why don’t you ask him?”

“Because if you asked him not to tell then I didn’t want to put a wedge between you.”

Some of the tension in Remus’s shoulders eased. “You don’t care, then?”

“Of course I care. You’re two of my best friends. I want you both to be happy. I just wish you’d trusted me.”

Remus rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not that we don’t. I just wanted…” He trailed off uncertainly.

“What?”

Remus looked up at James with renewed determination. “We wanted something that was just between the two of us for a while. You and Sirius share everything together.”

James couldn’t refute this. He had said that Remus was one of his best friends but the truth was that Sirius was his best friend. The others were just very close friends, friends he thought of as his best mates, but in reality there was no comparison. He’d never thought about how that wore on Remus and Peter. It was simply a fact of life. Now though, he was beginning to wonder.

“You’re jealous?”

“No.” Remus said too quickly. “James, not everything in Sirius’s life has to revolve around you.”

“I never said it did!”

“Why don’t you talk to Sirius about this?” Remus almost snapped and moved past him.

James turned to follow him. “Remus, I didn’t mean.”

Remus stopped at the door. He rested his hand on the threshold and sighed. “I know you didn’t.” He looked back at James. “He wanted to tell you but I asked him not to. You’re one of my best friends, James, and I love you, but sometimes...” He stared at the doorway for a moment. “Sometimes it feels like he has two boyfriends.”

“Remus, we’re not—”

“I know you’re not.” Remus said calmly. “I know you never have been. I know neither of you are interested in that but that’s not what I mean.” He took a deep breath, let the air fill his lungs, and stared at James. “I wish I had what you two have.”

James moved to put his hand on Remus’s shoulder. The other boy didn’t shrug him away, in fact the moment James touched his shoulders relaxed slightly.

“Remus, you are one of the best friends I have. You keep Sirius and I from losing our heads, literally sometimes. We need you. I need you and I care about you. And if you think for a second that I don’t then I’m sorry.”

Remus gave him a soft smile. “I know.” He said quietly. He laid his hand over James’s and squeezed it. “And thank you.”

They were quiet for a while, staring into each other’s eyes. Sharing the soft exchange of affection that, while not rare, had not been common between them. James hadn’t realized before how he’d neglected their friendship. He’d taken it too much for granted. That would have to change.

“Come on.” He said and threw his arm around Remus’s shoulder the way he’d so often thrown his arm around Sirius’s. “Let’s go before the others get into trouble without us.”


End file.
